Mario tells his friend Victor that his boss keeps passing him over for a promotion. 

Victor stops him and says, “Let me make sure I’m hearing you. You’ve been there three years, and people with less experience are getting promoted while you're still in the same role. Is that right?” 

Mario pauses. Hearing his situation reflected back to him makes something click. 
“Yeah,” he says. “That’s exactly it.”

Repeating what someone says in your own words is called paraphrasing. 
It has two powerful effects.

First, it helps the other person clarify their own thinking. Sometimes it’s only when someone reflects your words back to you that you fully understand what you’re saying.

Second, it helps you confirm you understood them correctly. You summarize what you heard and give them a chance to correct you.

In deliberation, that matters. 
Misunderstandings waste time, create tension, and send conversations in the wrong direction.

Try phrases like:

• “So what I’m hearing is…”

• “Let me make sure I’ve got this right…”

• “It sounds like you’re saying…”

Then ask: “Did I get that right?”

Paraphrasing is not agreeing. It’s understanding.

Once someone says, “Yes, that’s what I meant,” you’re ready to respond, even if you disagree. You’re responding to their actual point, not the version you imagined.

When people feel accurately understood, they’re far more willing to listen in return.